Living in fear

I guess this is a weird topic to talk about, but I really need to get it off my chest. After seeing something earlier today I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it.

I try to keep my anonymity when I write, so I’ll just speak about the place where I live in general terms.

Basically, there’re lots of people with little money and resources, so there’s a lot of crime. And it’s sad, really.

I guess what makes this subject come back to my mind over and over again is the fact that there are conflicting factors, so I can’t get to a definitive opinion.

Because, yes, people who are poor and go out and rob are the ones with the short end of the stick. They live marginalized and in horrible conditions since birth, they’re discriminated against everywhere, and have no resources or education to change the conditions in which they live in. It’s horrible, and I get it.

But it’s also horrible for the people who get shot in the head when they’re entering their house, or see their kids get murdered. And sure, maybe they’re “rich people” who keep the capitalist system running smoothly, so they deserve it. I get that too. But is not only “rich people” who get robbed, and I just can’t help but think that no human deserves to go through that. Even if they bring pain to a lot of people because they’re an evil CEO, I think justice has to be enforced in a different way.

And of course that’s not a good for the criminals either, there’s no such thing as a “modern Robin Hood.” It only marginalizes them more.

I guess at the end of the day, both parties are victims. Of capitalism, of the mentally ill world that we live in. Or the fact that we used to be monkeys, and evolution takes a long time, and we’re still evolving into a society where equality is an universal right. But it’s depressing.

I guess I should put things into perspective so I don’t catastrophize the situation. Every country in this world has problems. Crime and inequality exists everywhere. It’s not a new thing. The planet is still a better place compared to what it was 200, 500 or 1000 years ago. Everyday, people become more and more aware of social problems and injustices. I know. I’ll try to keep those things in mind.

But for the last couple of months I’ve been watching TV shows from other parts of the world (it’s a good escape), and it makes me want to go there so bad. I know those countries also have lots of issues, but is easy for me to think “well, I would still prefer to have a different set of problems.” A breath of fresh air, right?

I don’t know, I guess is not a bad thing that I think about this, we all live in a society and it’s good to be aware of its issues. But it’s sad. And scary.

And pretty much everyone just tells me “Relax! You’re over reacting!”, but I find it naive. I just don’t want to be the next person that gets stabbed on the street because someone was trying to rob $5 from me.

And YES, I know that people who live marginalized have it worse. I honestly know that. But I can’t help to feel scared.

I guess that if I die, it would be just a natural occurrence of living on a still-evolving world.

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