My facets

This is embarrassing but I had to get it off my chest.

Host: M, girl, real age. Straight.
Doesn’t really front, ever. Don’t know much about her. The facets probably showed up when she was young to protect her, so she’s not really aware of the trauma, although she might hold some memories from when I was really young. Can’t front since my life is too overwhelming for any human being. Also, I’m afraid she would be too confrontational with my abusers. Really connected to the body (the few times she’s fronted).

Protector: L. gender less, no age although it feels like they’re a bit younger than the Host. Bisexual.
The one that has been fronting for years. Lots of dissociation, has really bad memory,  has a “just survive and keep going” modus operandi. Although they’ve been fronting for years, I hate feeling genderless. It feels more like a robot, instead of a person.
Probably showed up to protect the host when she was little. Totally disconnected from the body.

Another facet: A, masculine, around the age of the protector. Bisexual.
Don’t know much about him, never fronts. Gender dysphoria issues when he’s around. Doesn’t really hold any memories. Feels okay about my abusers, since he doesn’t see the abuse.

Little facet. Girl. Around 5 maybe? But with the body of an adult. Non-verbal.
Been around for a while, but I wasn’t sure if she was really a facet or just a part of my personality, until she co-fronted one day when I got triggered. Dormant pretty much all of the time.

 

I hate having facets cause I would love to feel like a normal girl my age, but I don’t think the host could live my life.

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