Too tired and abused to feel anything

I’ve been dissociating all week. I felt nothing, and thought about nothing. My head is blocked again.

I was completely unable to work. It’s been two months since I was last functioning.

I’ve been reaching out to people cause that’s what ~healthy people do!~ but I just end up exhausted. I regret one every two sentences I say, and it makes me want to rip off my skin.

I feel so fucking abnormal. I’ve been alive for two decades yet I can’t have a fucking conversation like a normal person.

They did this to me. They made me into this.

I’m still being abused. These pieces of shit look at me and just see a lazy stupid fuck that they can use for whatever they want.

I just want to be loved. I’m so tired of suffering.  I can’t believe I’m still alive.