Pros: I’m doing therapy and she’s great.
Cons: I feel like shit.
I’ve been abused my whole life. That has been my life. I don’t know how to be a human, how to live. The pain is so big.
I feel like the only way to move on is to accept it as a part of me. The abuse I’ve suffered my whole life defines who I am today. That’s just how it is.
But at the same time that makes me feel gross. Like I’m accepting it, like I wanted it. Like I liked it. I was there, therefore I was part of it. I participated by just existing.
But that is not true.
I just have to face the world, being honest with who I am. I’m an abuse survivor. It wasn’t my fault, I didn’t want it. But it defines who I am today. And I’m gonna keep going, or at least try.