The gaslighting slows me down, but I’m still going

I’m in the process of getting (at least part of) the treatment that I need, so I’ve been talking to my abusers about my mental health.

It’s hell because they’re full of shit and gaslighting. They’re like “yeah, I support you”, when in reality they

  • deny the things I struggle with,
  • think I have no real problems,
  • think I’m too sensitive,
  • showed little to no empathy after me literally saying “I’ve been struggling for a really long time, I can barely do stuff, and the professionals I’ve seen think I should get treated”,  (no best wishes, offering me support or help, thanking me for sharing it with them, etc.)
  • ignored / were completely unaware of my mental illness ever since I was a kid,
  • blame me for “not saying anything”, even though I did but they shot me down time every single time,
  • think (and tell me) that getting professional help is pointless, and that the only thing that will really help me is their religion,
  • make remarks about how “sad” they are that I treat them “coldly” ever “since I was a kid” which is a blatant lie,
  • blame me for our lack of relationship, while also making me pity them cause they’re “alone and have no relationships”,
  • and obviously completely ignore and deny the fact that they have always treated me like trash.

I’m probably forgetting things.
But they support me getting treatment! Whatever’s best for me!

Shut the fuck up, you piece of shit.

 


 

It’s been hard, but I’m getting there. I’m trying to get the therapy and medication I need, I’m talking to people, I’m advocating for mental health.

It’s hard, but I’m getting there.

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